Last night was texting back and forth with Trisha and essentially she admitted that she never really let me in because she has never done so either because all those people in her life have let her down in a big way. So in reality it didn't matter what I did in the long run once we started getting close like she did she was going to freak. With that said she did freak in fact broke it off with me and furthermore with that said began to try to distance herself from me as well...saying hurtful things etc. But what I think she is not quite used to is the idea that I am not going away?!?!?
Hell I could just throw in the towel and move on. God only knows that would make all of this stuff alot easier. I wouldn't be questioning my instincts so much and whether what I am feeling inside is genuine. Were going to do the birthday thing together because she wants to, second of all i asked her if she just wanted to skip my brother's wedding and she didn't really give a definite yes or no so just maybe mentally she is doing a I trust him but I don't trust him kinda mental battle (but of course I don't know just my assumptions) and lastly were going to Mayhem Fest together as well
Crazy thing is I talked to Mckenna a while back and she told me that if I really felt it that I should move to Canada. Yes, a part of me still really loves Jodi! A big big part of me does. I feel terrible because I am wanting to go after this and right now wondering if moving there and pursuing that would be the right thing to do. Deep down maybe that is because I know pursuing that would be easy and I like taking the difficult route to life? I really am not sure about that much either (just not sure really)
I long for a time when things were more simple. Than again if I can do all the merit badges many of them i disliked and become an Eagle Scout than i can sure as hell battle this out to the end. With that I am going to cut this off at the pass. Hope you enjoyed your trip inside my head. And i'll catch ya on the flip side
Hell I could just throw in the towel and move on. God only knows that would make all of this stuff alot easier. I wouldn't be questioning my instincts so much and whether what I am feeling inside is genuine. Were going to do the birthday thing together because she wants to, second of all i asked her if she just wanted to skip my brother's wedding and she didn't really give a definite yes or no so just maybe mentally she is doing a I trust him but I don't trust him kinda mental battle (but of course I don't know just my assumptions) and lastly were going to Mayhem Fest together as well
Crazy thing is I talked to Mckenna a while back and she told me that if I really felt it that I should move to Canada. Yes, a part of me still really loves Jodi! A big big part of me does. I feel terrible because I am wanting to go after this and right now wondering if moving there and pursuing that would be the right thing to do. Deep down maybe that is because I know pursuing that would be easy and I like taking the difficult route to life? I really am not sure about that much either (just not sure really)
I long for a time when things were more simple. Than again if I can do all the merit badges many of them i disliked and become an Eagle Scout than i can sure as hell battle this out to the end. With that I am going to cut this off at the pass. Hope you enjoyed your trip inside my head. And i'll catch ya on the flip side
Comments
Post a Comment