Inside The Mind Of A Writer

Readers, Hey everyone I hope you're doing good. I should be tackling a first blog for D & B supply, but mentally I think I've hit a roadblock. I was told it could be casual and i'd have my own voice but right now I am having a hard time finding it, that voice that says, "Chris you're kidding yourself", is yelling louder. As I write this I wonder if writers who actually have it made sometimes still battle with that creature? Does Dean Koontz ever get caught up on not knowing what to write? I'd like to say no because well its Dean Koontz and in my mind he's the best writer ever. After writing for a long time like he has i'd like to think writing block and uncertainty doesn't exist Yesterday, I met at Rembrandt's with a representative for D & B supply, she found me via twitter and searching me apparently by typing in the words "chicken" and "garden", after that she took a walk through everything facebook, my pho...

Readers, Hey everyone I hope you're doing great. As for myself while I write this I am also waking up with my first mug (which as many of you know or hell maybe you're just tuning in to this channel, it holds two cups), it is already feeling like it'll be a several mug or hell even a pot kind of morning. But at least I got up instead of resetting my alarm till later or intending to get up and actually laying my head down on my pillow and conking out. So its a start. Though god only knows I don't know or get how someone can be awake right away or live without coffee in the am? As for me I need at least some sort of fuel to wake me up so I can tackle the day! Although yes it is a slow gradual wake up process with this mug of coffee so the am between 6-7 am is fairly useless actually *shrugs* But at least, I've gotten my day started going already. Tonight at work will be my third night working in the home department which I have come to realize that I missed a lot!...

Readers, Hey everyone I hope all is going great in your worlds. On my end, its surreal to think that as time draws closer to when I would have been signing up for classes at Boise State I am not doing it this semester. Its so hard because I am so damned close to graduating, but still haven't won this battle with calculus. Right now I am getting tutoring from my next door neighbor in calculus and getting this calculus done. My plan is too work on it during when I would be going to school and then testing out of it at CWI and returning back to Boise State ready to kick ass and take names! As I wrote last time as well it helps having such a loving supportive girl by my side, Ruth has been nothing short of a godsend pushing me and being there right by my side. There is no doubt that everyday I spend with her she is a keeper and I find myself loving her more and more every single day A few days ago, I took a break from the nonstop working (working at least 40 plus hrs just this week...

Readers, Hey everyone I hope you're doing good. On my end, its getting closer and closer to not being able to get a class I need and secondly running out of time to realistically go test out of this damned business calculus class! As I have written previously, I have taken this class more then six times at this point. I tried it at CWI several different times even and still was not successful. A deal was brokered, I'd do it on Khan Academy and go test out of it (essentially only because I had taken it so many times and clearly something wasn't working). My father encouraged me to pick it up and work my ass off on the math like he normally does, putting a boot in my ass...saying you got this...plus my girlfriend Ruth as always has been incredibly supportive. I had people offer to tutor me and help me out...but at the end of the day I was determined to go it alone. I have never considered myself prideful, but in this instance I clearly was. In this instance with math, I sai...

Readers, Hey everyone I hope all is going great with you. On my end, I am still trying to tackle this online math class which feels like it'll never get done. I am so close but not close enough. Today is ten years since I graduated high school in 2004 and started right up at Boise State. Which of course lends itself to some reflecting on what I have accomplished, what's happened to me and just how far I have really come. I've been through what feels like a hell of a lot of bad relationships but thankfully seem to no doubt have found the one. We've now been together for four months and I have no doubt we will be together much longer! Its the school thing and not completing it that's killing me though. I look around me and am friends with a lot of people who I went to high school with and they've graduated and have great jobs. Here I am going on almost two years working in retail at Gordmans. Don't get me wrong, I like it, but I am a cashier though. Interv...

Readers, Hey everyone I hope all is going great on your end. On my end, I've been busy somewhat enjoying this summer spending a hell of a lot of time with my girlfriend Ruth, went and saw the band One Republic with my friend Jordan, went to music fest (which turned out awesome aside from sky blue and the fact that they cranked up the bass too much), went to Mayhem Fest a couple of days ago with Ruth and that was awesome! Suffice to say I got to see the band Mushroomhead in concert, Korn, Ice T and body count (which is an awesome kinda metal rock band, check them out), Avenged Sevenfold and the Texas Hippie Coalition. This summer hasn't been the most exciting summer though because I've had this math class sort of hanging around my neck like a noose of sorts. Its painful because I am so damned close I can feel myself succeeding but there is still that part of me that also sees failure at the end of the tunnel. Its hard as hell not keeping that breathing monster at bay...f...

Readers, Hey everyone. I hope all is going great with you. Right now its 4:47 and its the 25 of June. I have till part of August to knock out my calculus (via Khan Academy). Reality is I am close but not close enough. As I am nearing these more difficult concepts I feel like I am slamming my head against a fucking brick wall...its like fucking hell I have taken this class more than six times this should be easy as hell! But here I am flailing around in the dark...right now I don't know if I can do this...hell if I can't do this...that's it all these years at Boise State are literally for goddamned nothing. Right now I feel like the worlds biggest failure. Trying to use this to hopefully just clear my head and feel better but its not really working though...just getting more fired up! Right now I just want to capitalize the word FUCK (over and over again) till this screen is filled with them and nothing else fits. Right now I want to get into a car and get the hell out of ...