Skip to main content

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (pass on this one its literally just a grr hulk smash post filled with quite a bit of bad language)

Readers,

Hey everyone. I hope all is going great with you. Right now its 4:47 and its the 25 of June. I have till part of August to knock out my calculus (via Khan Academy). Reality is I am close but not close enough. As I am nearing these more difficult concepts I feel like I am slamming my head against a fucking brick wall...its like fucking hell I have taken this class more than six times this should be easy as hell! But here I am flailing around in the dark...right now I don't know if I can do this...hell if I can't do this...that's it all these years at Boise State are literally for goddamned nothing. Right now I feel like the worlds biggest failure. Trying to use this to hopefully just clear my head and feel better but its not really working though...just getting more fired up! Right now I just want to capitalize the word FUCK (over and over again) till this screen is filled with them and nothing else fits. Right now I want to get into a car and get the hell out of dodge and never look back. Right now I want to go in a room and smash a shit ton of plates. Right now I want to crank up some angry music and yell with it...going to get out of my house and go for a walk (walking helps clear my head and usually helps me actually calm down)

Forgive this post, pass it if you would like. Just incredibly frustrated with myself and with this math class. Going for a walk then back here to get some school work done and cranked out. Catch ya on the flip side

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Is It True?

Readers: Hey everybody I hope all is well in your world's. I am writing a latest update of things seeing as how earlier today I asked her why she suddenly blocked me with out any word at all. Hell its funny how in the end I told myself over and over again knowing wouldn't actually help but there you have it. One thing she said has continued to stay there at the fore front of my mind when she texted me back after essentially telling me that I worried too much, that I killed things that drunken night, that I am neurotic. Probably not exactly in those different words but that was the idea though than she stopped texting me again. Later out of the blue she texted me again telling me she was sorry but that how could she expect anything else out of things after the night when I screwed up like that. Oh and of course she also threw my words in my face saying essentially that i'd never be with a woman with a kid lol The funny he he ironic fucking thing is that I made it clear w
2 comments
Read more

End To Brilliance

Readers, Hey I hope everything is going great in you're world's. On my end, I am sitting here listening to the new Miley Cyrus album, which is without an single doubt incredibly solid! Everything aside I think she is getting an extremely unfair rap. As far as I am concerned this new album shows she is incredibly musically talented and has slowly found herself. Now moving onto why this blog is sufficiently titled "End To Brilliance". I think it involves two events the first being the end of Breaking Bad this past weekend and secondly the death of Tom Clancy this morning. There are some people whom I talked to that I won't name names specifically but they said they'd have liked the show Breaking Bad to have ended differently. In my mind, after the major disappointment with how the show Dexter concluded this past weekend in my mind it was a true breathe of fresh air. No, don't worry if you're reading this I am not going to pull a bunch of spoilers out
2 comments
Read more

Wow ten years later...time for that reflection thing

Readers, Hey everyone I hope all is going great with you. On my end, I am still trying to tackle this online math class which feels like it'll never get done. I am so close but not close enough. Today is ten years since I graduated high school in 2004 and started right up at Boise State. Which of course lends itself to some reflecting on what I have accomplished, what's happened to me and just how far I have really come. I've been through what feels like a hell of a lot of bad relationships but thankfully seem to no doubt have found the one. We've now been together for four months and I have no doubt we will be together much longer! Its the school thing and not completing it that's killing me though. I look around me and am friends with a lot of people who I went to high school with and they've graduated and have great jobs. Here I am going on almost two years working in retail at Gordmans. Don't get me wrong, I like it, but I am a cashier though. Interv
2 comments
Read more