Readers:
Its been a few days since I wrote up my last blog and well I am squeezing in time to spend time with friends ie last time hung out with my friend Jordan and Kelsey we went to the corn maze. Yes it was lots of fun hanging out with them it always is but halfway through my mood eventually turned to loneliness. Espessically when I got home it settled in. Mind you throughout the maze trip I was making jokes right and left with sexual innuendos tossed throughout.
Ultimately though I have realized what I really want is to find someone who loves me for me and isn't just in it for a sexual fix. The friends with benefits was a lot of fun don't get me wrong but I think I am truly ready for more. Its hard though when you don't see any kind of actual value in yourself anymore as a potential mate or more for somebody else as of late. Hell in fact as I wrote in the past the key is you have to love yourself and right now I don't think I love myself very much. I could count on one hand all the reasons I don't think I am an damn good pick for anybody but I won't be fucking self depreciating though....this is already self depreciating enough as it is like I am looking for a coin tossed into some sympathy well.
No doubt the rain and gray skies this morning and honing this blah mood this morning. In some good news I did another photo shoot with my friend Tiana and the photos turned out fairly well if I do say so myself but than again as a friend put it (she is a great photographer): "They were pretty bad except for the rocks which were in focus" its funny I said to myself at the time Dean Koontz once said, "My teacher in English class said i couldn't write and never would be great...take what advice people give and hold a little bit close and toss everything away" but I have realized that as a whole my camera has stayed in my bag unlike the past two weeks in which I was snapping photos like a mad man.
Its funny for once in my life I found a song that suits my mood at the moment perfectly. Good tune either way though. Not all is bad in the world and hell I realize this! I am sorry for writing this blah blog I realize there is a lot worse shit going on in other people's lives hence why I hate writing this self deprecating shit. Mind you not that I honestly feel anyone looks at this to begin with lol But you are tuning in please understand that not everything I blog is like this.
On a movie note I watched the movie Scream 4 this last Friday and it rocked check it out if you liked the others Wes Craven proved he still has that horror genius thing going on. With that I am going to cut this off and hope all is well in your world's i'll catch ya on the flip side
Its been a few days since I wrote up my last blog and well I am squeezing in time to spend time with friends ie last time hung out with my friend Jordan and Kelsey we went to the corn maze. Yes it was lots of fun hanging out with them it always is but halfway through my mood eventually turned to loneliness. Espessically when I got home it settled in. Mind you throughout the maze trip I was making jokes right and left with sexual innuendos tossed throughout.
Ultimately though I have realized what I really want is to find someone who loves me for me and isn't just in it for a sexual fix. The friends with benefits was a lot of fun don't get me wrong but I think I am truly ready for more. Its hard though when you don't see any kind of actual value in yourself anymore as a potential mate or more for somebody else as of late. Hell in fact as I wrote in the past the key is you have to love yourself and right now I don't think I love myself very much. I could count on one hand all the reasons I don't think I am an damn good pick for anybody but I won't be fucking self depreciating though....this is already self depreciating enough as it is like I am looking for a coin tossed into some sympathy well.
No doubt the rain and gray skies this morning and honing this blah mood this morning. In some good news I did another photo shoot with my friend Tiana and the photos turned out fairly well if I do say so myself but than again as a friend put it (she is a great photographer): "They were pretty bad except for the rocks which were in focus" its funny I said to myself at the time Dean Koontz once said, "My teacher in English class said i couldn't write and never would be great...take what advice people give and hold a little bit close and toss everything away" but I have realized that as a whole my camera has stayed in my bag unlike the past two weeks in which I was snapping photos like a mad man.
Its funny for once in my life I found a song that suits my mood at the moment perfectly. Good tune either way though. Not all is bad in the world and hell I realize this! I am sorry for writing this blah blog I realize there is a lot worse shit going on in other people's lives hence why I hate writing this self deprecating shit. Mind you not that I honestly feel anyone looks at this to begin with lol But you are tuning in please understand that not everything I blog is like this.
On a movie note I watched the movie Scream 4 this last Friday and it rocked check it out if you liked the others Wes Craven proved he still has that horror genius thing going on. With that I am going to cut this off and hope all is well in your world's i'll catch ya on the flip side
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