Readers,
Hey everyone I hope all is going great with you. On my end, I have officially put in right around 40 hrs on this math together with a tutor whose helping me along (and I have little to nothing to show for it!). Hell, I know I shouldn't be hard on myself at all...after all not everyone is great at calculus but still people complete it and move on and you have me still sitting here on my ass not having fucking completed it. When I am not working with Tom, I try to work on this math and I can't do it. Literally I work a gazillion plus examples and nothing works out well for me. I am so close I can smell it, but who am I kidding? Without this goddamned class I can't take my last two classes at Boise State and graduate from college...so all this time put in is for nothing!
Yes, I am pretty good at photography and I am also pretty good at writing both could probably be a career in the long run but right now I need a solid job with vacation pay and everything else. I focused on the human resources aspect because I like working directly with people and it would pay well and guarantee paid vacation and all those essential benefits. I know people have it harder then me this literally feels like I am a boy who as he gets older thinks he can fly, knows he can fly and when he gets older he leaps and it doesn't end well (because Superman isn't real).
For once in a good long while I have a remarkable woman who I have no doubt I will spend my life with. But I want to be able to give her the world and more, I want to be able to take random vacations together like I had the chance to as a kid and growing up. I want to be able to spluge and buy a new car if we wanted to (not that we need that but I want it). If I don't have these degrees I don't know what I'll do with myself?
I'll be thirty years old in November, I feel like I have hit a brick wall successfully. Mm I've been so busy trying to do this math that I haven't really written another word on a blog or anything (I have that opportunity just have to write it?). My love Ruth is so damned encouraging says she's proud of me and that she loves me with all her heart and I believe her, I really do. I am so scared, I am scared to death actually
Back to the drawing board I suppose, my tutor the other day said with my permission he'd go speak to someone at Boise State and tell them how hard I worked and try to get a pass so I am not required to take this calculus class so that I can get on with my degree and graduate. But I don't know how I feel about that? It feels like giving up? Hell or am I just being too damned stubborn? Hell I know I'll never use this calculus in the future...so I am so torn right now
Mm well I am going to cut this off here, it was clearing my head. Hope you're doing great. I'll catch ya on the flip side
Hey everyone I hope all is going great with you. On my end, I have officially put in right around 40 hrs on this math together with a tutor whose helping me along (and I have little to nothing to show for it!). Hell, I know I shouldn't be hard on myself at all...after all not everyone is great at calculus but still people complete it and move on and you have me still sitting here on my ass not having fucking completed it. When I am not working with Tom, I try to work on this math and I can't do it. Literally I work a gazillion plus examples and nothing works out well for me. I am so close I can smell it, but who am I kidding? Without this goddamned class I can't take my last two classes at Boise State and graduate from college...so all this time put in is for nothing!
Yes, I am pretty good at photography and I am also pretty good at writing both could probably be a career in the long run but right now I need a solid job with vacation pay and everything else. I focused on the human resources aspect because I like working directly with people and it would pay well and guarantee paid vacation and all those essential benefits. I know people have it harder then me this literally feels like I am a boy who as he gets older thinks he can fly, knows he can fly and when he gets older he leaps and it doesn't end well (because Superman isn't real).
For once in a good long while I have a remarkable woman who I have no doubt I will spend my life with. But I want to be able to give her the world and more, I want to be able to take random vacations together like I had the chance to as a kid and growing up. I want to be able to spluge and buy a new car if we wanted to (not that we need that but I want it). If I don't have these degrees I don't know what I'll do with myself?
I'll be thirty years old in November, I feel like I have hit a brick wall successfully. Mm I've been so busy trying to do this math that I haven't really written another word on a blog or anything (I have that opportunity just have to write it?). My love Ruth is so damned encouraging says she's proud of me and that she loves me with all her heart and I believe her, I really do. I am so scared, I am scared to death actually
Back to the drawing board I suppose, my tutor the other day said with my permission he'd go speak to someone at Boise State and tell them how hard I worked and try to get a pass so I am not required to take this calculus class so that I can get on with my degree and graduate. But I don't know how I feel about that? It feels like giving up? Hell or am I just being too damned stubborn? Hell I know I'll never use this calculus in the future...so I am so torn right now
Mm well I am going to cut this off here, it was clearing my head. Hope you're doing great. I'll catch ya on the flip side
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