Readers,
Hey everyone I hope all is going great in your world's. On my end, right now I am sitting here listening to the newest Katy Perry album which is really solid, she is incredibly talented. Since writing my previous post about my father's cancer and feeling helpless I have an update of sorts on things. So it looks like the cancer is 100 % treatable which is great and more than likely he will be going to the Mayo Clinic where they have apparently the best surgeon in the country for pancreatic and liver surgery (which are apparently incredibly specialized). So, he will be in great hands when he does go its looking like at the beginning of November or so. The shittiest part of the whole deal, is that while, he will be getting the best care possible, I cannot afford to take off and go to Minnesota to support my mom. So there is some good news in there somewhere at least
This past weekend, I went downtown Boise with my ex Trisha whom I previously talked about in past entries. In fact she is probably one of those ex's whose breakup hit me the hardest as you all know if you go back and review past posts. Since those days her and I have made up with one another and are friends so no bad mouthing her is necessary. But, I also realized, that on some level, whether it was just me being lonely and wanting somebody that I simply just read way too damned much into her asking me to go with her to the "Witches Ball" that she's one of those that sort of got away. Looking back on that night now with a clearer head I think I got dressed up in hopes of somehow impressing an ex girlfriend which is insane right? Hell, I don't fucking know right now....but with having nobody it just felt nice to be recognized by somebody. Okay avoiding patronizing myself right now but that is probably just it. We talked things out after I got my stuff and I feel slightly better but at the same time I feel like I was an total ass that night though (I wish I could write this and somehow put things into a good light but I guess we're not perfect and I am very raw even more so then i realized).
When the whole world feels like it is falling apart friends come through and in this case this past weekend that was Noelle and I cannot thank her enough for pulling me aside and including me in things. When clearly all all I wanted to do is just run away and hide from the world. (Mm so thank you so so much, hope you don't mind me including you directly in this)
They say you learn from situations and I'd say clearly while I have moved forward to a degree and found myself I haven't spent enough time doing so. I'd like to think I am ready for the dating world but on some level clearly I am not yet, I am very rough around the edges. Ultimately I hope one of these days to find someone that really takes the time to get to know me and also loves me even though I am far from the most perfect person in the world (wow this is a lot more insightful and raw then I intended it to be). But alas this about clearing my head out and tossing it out there. Mm hell who knows maybe this will actually help somebody else out there. Hopefully you don't judge me, its the only thing I can hope for
With that being said I am going to close this for now and get to work on Finance, I have two quizzes to knock out this morning then I am hopefully going to go work out this afternoon or so *smiles* Oh and I am looking forward to doing a photo shoot with my friend Jordan Anderson and his finance Kelsey. Mm and its a beautiful fall day maybe a nice walk will be in order. I'll catch ya on the flip side
Hey everyone I hope all is going great in your world's. On my end, right now I am sitting here listening to the newest Katy Perry album which is really solid, she is incredibly talented. Since writing my previous post about my father's cancer and feeling helpless I have an update of sorts on things. So it looks like the cancer is 100 % treatable which is great and more than likely he will be going to the Mayo Clinic where they have apparently the best surgeon in the country for pancreatic and liver surgery (which are apparently incredibly specialized). So, he will be in great hands when he does go its looking like at the beginning of November or so. The shittiest part of the whole deal, is that while, he will be getting the best care possible, I cannot afford to take off and go to Minnesota to support my mom. So there is some good news in there somewhere at least
This past weekend, I went downtown Boise with my ex Trisha whom I previously talked about in past entries. In fact she is probably one of those ex's whose breakup hit me the hardest as you all know if you go back and review past posts. Since those days her and I have made up with one another and are friends so no bad mouthing her is necessary. But, I also realized, that on some level, whether it was just me being lonely and wanting somebody that I simply just read way too damned much into her asking me to go with her to the "Witches Ball" that she's one of those that sort of got away. Looking back on that night now with a clearer head I think I got dressed up in hopes of somehow impressing an ex girlfriend which is insane right? Hell, I don't fucking know right now....but with having nobody it just felt nice to be recognized by somebody. Okay avoiding patronizing myself right now but that is probably just it. We talked things out after I got my stuff and I feel slightly better but at the same time I feel like I was an total ass that night though (I wish I could write this and somehow put things into a good light but I guess we're not perfect and I am very raw even more so then i realized).
When the whole world feels like it is falling apart friends come through and in this case this past weekend that was Noelle and I cannot thank her enough for pulling me aside and including me in things. When clearly all all I wanted to do is just run away and hide from the world. (Mm so thank you so so much, hope you don't mind me including you directly in this)
They say you learn from situations and I'd say clearly while I have moved forward to a degree and found myself I haven't spent enough time doing so. I'd like to think I am ready for the dating world but on some level clearly I am not yet, I am very rough around the edges. Ultimately I hope one of these days to find someone that really takes the time to get to know me and also loves me even though I am far from the most perfect person in the world (wow this is a lot more insightful and raw then I intended it to be). But alas this about clearing my head out and tossing it out there. Mm hell who knows maybe this will actually help somebody else out there. Hopefully you don't judge me, its the only thing I can hope for
With that being said I am going to close this for now and get to work on Finance, I have two quizzes to knock out this morning then I am hopefully going to go work out this afternoon or so *smiles* Oh and I am looking forward to doing a photo shoot with my friend Jordan Anderson and his finance Kelsey. Mm and its a beautiful fall day maybe a nice walk will be in order. I'll catch ya on the flip side
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