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Long time but I am still here

Hey everybody I know its been a long time since i have written a blog. Overall in my world I am leaning more and more towards the reality of accepting that Trisha and I are through in a big way. Coming up on May 17th supposed to do her birthday with her ala go to the movies to see the movie Thor and second of all grab some grub. Going to do that for sure but right now avoiding talking to her like the plague because I feel so duped right now its not even funny

Literally we were done for almost four months. Then I find out she has essentially already moved on and has a friend with benefits with this guy named Ben whom she has been spending an inordinate amount of time with after work playing video games, D&D etc but the fact is they have been spending alot of time together though. Which of course is fine they can spend time together but wow....only four months and she is already fucking some other guy! Truly cannot help but feel duped...like an idiot...you name the words but they are there though.

Right now I am wondering if those four months literally meant anything to her at all. Early on in the relationship we had hardly really been going out we were kind of exclusive. But she confesses fooling around with her friend Kenny...apparently things got hot and heavy they made out were grinding all over one another...she helped him out (nothing went into the sex department) at the time i remember her saying to me i wonder if i should come over at all you will probably be pissed at me...don't know what to think anymore...honestly at the time we weren't truly exclusive and it was before we were exclusive for that matter really! So I take her back etc and say i forgive you its fine under the circumstances

Starting to wonder now if that wasn't a sign of what was to come later down the road? But of course i don't have any clear cut answers and probably never will. But I think that is how things go sometimes though you have no answers and just wonder. Sometimes i think i am better than other times i realize i still have a long way to go until i am over over her. Well i am gonna cut this off here hope all is well in your worlds. I'll catch ya on the flip side

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