Skip to main content

Can't help but feel like I cut someone important out of my life

Hey readers as I mentioned in my previous blog I had to cut somebody out of my life due to some circumstances that unfolded. That person that I had to cut out of my life was one of two women whom I mentioned in a previous blog this summer that touched my life in such a way that I felt profoundly changed by them being there. Needless to say I am not going into details here but I am sitting here just thinking the brain won't just turn off (i'd appreciate it mind you).

Hell I feel hurt by what unfolded like nobodies business but didn't realize how much someone could mean to you until they are not there. Until there are no more casual texts/phone calls/picture messages sent back and forth like dorks. To say I would feel weak just out of the blue contacting her would be very true like I feed off something and I think that is the miraculous friendship that seemed to blossom between us like a whole garden full of flowers. If I had a crystal ball and could peer into it that would be great and see what kind of outcome come come from recontacting her that would be even more spectacular but I just don't. 

Other stuff in my life leaves me contemplating am I truly a solid catch for somebody out there? Mmm hell I would like to think so and that person whom I cut out of my life once said to me, "Chris you have it in you. You'll always be that hopeless romantic" right now I am not too terribly sure it seems like I am far too busy with school for much in the way of fun anymore which has me kind of bummed to put it lightly. 

Apparently for once in my life I am at a loss describing what exactly is going on in my head currently. Maybe its a sense of needing to belong, missing a dear friend, wishing I had somebody (saw so many happy couples today and I am just like grr I want that partially but don't want to get fucked over again royally)

Well for now that's it nothing much else on my end really just school, school and more school oh and wandering thoughts and missing a dear friend. Hope your thoughts are clearer than mine wherever you may be and I'll catch ya on the flip side so to speak   

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Is It True?

Readers: Hey everybody I hope all is well in your world's. I am writing a latest update of things seeing as how earlier today I asked her why she suddenly blocked me with out any word at all. Hell its funny how in the end I told myself over and over again knowing wouldn't actually help but there you have it. One thing she said has continued to stay there at the fore front of my mind when she texted me back after essentially telling me that I worried too much, that I killed things that drunken night, that I am neurotic. Probably not exactly in those different words but that was the idea though than she stopped texting me again. Later out of the blue she texted me again telling me she was sorry but that how could she expect anything else out of things after the night when I screwed up like that. Oh and of course she also threw my words in my face saying essentially that i'd never be with a woman with a kid lol The funny he he ironic fucking thing is that I made it clear w
2 comments
Read more

End To Brilliance

Readers, Hey I hope everything is going great in you're world's. On my end, I am sitting here listening to the new Miley Cyrus album, which is without an single doubt incredibly solid! Everything aside I think she is getting an extremely unfair rap. As far as I am concerned this new album shows she is incredibly musically talented and has slowly found herself. Now moving onto why this blog is sufficiently titled "End To Brilliance". I think it involves two events the first being the end of Breaking Bad this past weekend and secondly the death of Tom Clancy this morning. There are some people whom I talked to that I won't name names specifically but they said they'd have liked the show Breaking Bad to have ended differently. In my mind, after the major disappointment with how the show Dexter concluded this past weekend in my mind it was a true breathe of fresh air. No, don't worry if you're reading this I am not going to pull a bunch of spoilers out
2 comments
Read more

Wow ten years later...time for that reflection thing

Readers, Hey everyone I hope all is going great with you. On my end, I am still trying to tackle this online math class which feels like it'll never get done. I am so close but not close enough. Today is ten years since I graduated high school in 2004 and started right up at Boise State. Which of course lends itself to some reflecting on what I have accomplished, what's happened to me and just how far I have really come. I've been through what feels like a hell of a lot of bad relationships but thankfully seem to no doubt have found the one. We've now been together for four months and I have no doubt we will be together much longer! Its the school thing and not completing it that's killing me though. I look around me and am friends with a lot of people who I went to high school with and they've graduated and have great jobs. Here I am going on almost two years working in retail at Gordmans. Don't get me wrong, I like it, but I am a cashier though. Interv
2 comments
Read more