Readers,
Hey everyone I hope all is going great in your world's. Last night I found out that at my dad's latest doctors visit they apparently found a spot of cancer on his liver. Apparently the success is 100 % but at the same time as much as its operable that little fucking bastard can also go elsewhere as well because its so tiny. One of the hardest things in my life I have gone through is being at the hospital and seeing my dad there unable to take care of himself. Because I don't give a shit how old he is he's always been that tough person no matter what has happened to anyone of us in the past! Getting my head shaved for fucking cancer this past year now feels pathetic because it doesn't make what my father has go away...I can't just take it away. I am grateful and surprised that the place I found comfort last night was in role-playing with an ex girlfriend slash really good friend Trisha.
Yes, many of you know what I went through in the past but nevertheless I can't thank her enough for helping to distract me from thinking too much about all of this stuff that I can't control! That's the real bitch of all of this there is nothing I can really honest to god do to make it go away. Except well hope for some sort of miracle or something and hope that it really goes away this time. My dad and I have clashed in the past but I love him so much and am so grateful for all the things he has done for me in my life. God only knows without him I'd not have the opportunities that I do such as going to school right now, have gone to England over this past summer because there is no way I could have afforded that on what I have made and saved up. One of these days I really do hope I can do great things and provide for a family like he does and make him incredibly proud
As I write this, I am listening to Gary Allan, who is amazing and really knows how to grab at the heart strings and drains you of all these emotions which is probably the only reason I am not crying right now. Besides what good would tears do right now? lol The funny he he thing of all this is they'd not do any good at all. In the end, I ask that everyone please say prayers for him or whatever else you do that my father gets better and that this is the last time he battles Cancer and that I have the strength to be there for him. I know that I have some amazing family and a lot of truly great friends who are an truly great support system that I can lean on if I need to
In other news, I am taking a risk with a certain woman, who I don't know if anything good can come from things but i'd rather say I tried then throw in my cards and not know. Until further details roll out etc I am not going to write about her by name specifically *shrugs* That way if it doesn't work out work out we can hopefully still end up as friends in the long term
Well with that I am feeling like I dumped out my brain and thank you to all of those who actually stuck it out and read everything and forgive me in advance for the sporadic cuss words scattered throughout. This felt like an angry brain dump lol Alas nobody was harmed in the writing of this piece and overall I am feeling oddly better for having written this piece. On some level, I truly do hope this helps somebody else who knows someone currently battling with cancer and that its okay to feel inadequate or helpless and that there are many people out there like you
Back to the races! Strong coffee, good music and studying finance. I am determined to really rock this next exam in finance class. I'll catch ya on the flip side
Hey everyone I hope all is going great in your world's. Last night I found out that at my dad's latest doctors visit they apparently found a spot of cancer on his liver. Apparently the success is 100 % but at the same time as much as its operable that little fucking bastard can also go elsewhere as well because its so tiny. One of the hardest things in my life I have gone through is being at the hospital and seeing my dad there unable to take care of himself. Because I don't give a shit how old he is he's always been that tough person no matter what has happened to anyone of us in the past! Getting my head shaved for fucking cancer this past year now feels pathetic because it doesn't make what my father has go away...I can't just take it away. I am grateful and surprised that the place I found comfort last night was in role-playing with an ex girlfriend slash really good friend Trisha.
Yes, many of you know what I went through in the past but nevertheless I can't thank her enough for helping to distract me from thinking too much about all of this stuff that I can't control! That's the real bitch of all of this there is nothing I can really honest to god do to make it go away. Except well hope for some sort of miracle or something and hope that it really goes away this time. My dad and I have clashed in the past but I love him so much and am so grateful for all the things he has done for me in my life. God only knows without him I'd not have the opportunities that I do such as going to school right now, have gone to England over this past summer because there is no way I could have afforded that on what I have made and saved up. One of these days I really do hope I can do great things and provide for a family like he does and make him incredibly proud
As I write this, I am listening to Gary Allan, who is amazing and really knows how to grab at the heart strings and drains you of all these emotions which is probably the only reason I am not crying right now. Besides what good would tears do right now? lol The funny he he thing of all this is they'd not do any good at all. In the end, I ask that everyone please say prayers for him or whatever else you do that my father gets better and that this is the last time he battles Cancer and that I have the strength to be there for him. I know that I have some amazing family and a lot of truly great friends who are an truly great support system that I can lean on if I need to
In other news, I am taking a risk with a certain woman, who I don't know if anything good can come from things but i'd rather say I tried then throw in my cards and not know. Until further details roll out etc I am not going to write about her by name specifically *shrugs* That way if it doesn't work out work out we can hopefully still end up as friends in the long term
Well with that I am feeling like I dumped out my brain and thank you to all of those who actually stuck it out and read everything and forgive me in advance for the sporadic cuss words scattered throughout. This felt like an angry brain dump lol Alas nobody was harmed in the writing of this piece and overall I am feeling oddly better for having written this piece. On some level, I truly do hope this helps somebody else who knows someone currently battling with cancer and that its okay to feel inadequate or helpless and that there are many people out there like you
Back to the races! Strong coffee, good music and studying finance. I am determined to really rock this next exam in finance class. I'll catch ya on the flip side
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