Skip to main content

Can't help but feel like I cut someone important out of my life

Hey readers as I mentioned in my previous blog I had to cut somebody out of my life due to some circumstances that unfolded. That person that I had to cut out of my life was one of two women whom I mentioned in a previous blog this summer that touched my life in such a way that I felt profoundly changed by them being there. Needless to say I am not going into details here but I am sitting here just thinking the brain won't just turn off (i'd appreciate it mind you).

Hell I feel hurt by what unfolded like nobodies business but didn't realize how much someone could mean to you until they are not there. Until there are no more casual texts/phone calls/picture messages sent back and forth like dorks. To say I would feel weak just out of the blue contacting her would be very true like I feed off something and I think that is the miraculous friendship that seemed to blossom between us like a whole garden full of flowers. If I had a crystal ball and could peer into it that would be great and see what kind of outcome come come from recontacting her that would be even more spectacular but I just don't. 

Other stuff in my life leaves me contemplating am I truly a solid catch for somebody out there? Mmm hell I would like to think so and that person whom I cut out of my life once said to me, "Chris you have it in you. You'll always be that hopeless romantic" right now I am not too terribly sure it seems like I am far too busy with school for much in the way of fun anymore which has me kind of bummed to put it lightly. 

Apparently for once in my life I am at a loss describing what exactly is going on in my head currently. Maybe its a sense of needing to belong, missing a dear friend, wishing I had somebody (saw so many happy couples today and I am just like grr I want that partially but don't want to get fucked over again royally)

Well for now that's it nothing much else on my end really just school, school and more school oh and wandering thoughts and missing a dear friend. Hope your thoughts are clearer than mine wherever you may be and I'll catch ya on the flip side so to speak   

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Its Over & Done. Time to forget her and get back out there

Readers; Hey everyone I hope all's going great in you're world's. Its now 12:17 in the morning just got home from Roaring Springs which I got in for free so that was fun but I found myself dwelling on what I didn't have; what had come to a close; that being the relationship with Jolene and I. Hell it was an even shorter relationship than the one with my last ex at this point I think I might be something of a plague. So many people are like you are awesome blah blah blah but of course what the fuck else are they going to say? Over these past weeks I learned I flunked my summer math class so that makes me feel overjoyed!  Hell at this point I am pretty sure I will get out of college when I am maybe thirty years old. At this point in my life I seriously am left wondering again what do I have to truly offer a woman seriously in a substantial sustaining relationship. I mean I still live with my parents while going to college. I have a part time job that somewhat pays the...
2 comments
Read more

\\\\Feeling empty tonight

Readers: Hey everyone I hope all's going great in you're world's. Checked my facebook page earlier and got a post from my best friend Jared Lewis who first got me into Queensryche years ago saying that Geoff Tate broke up with the band Queensryche and they are no more. Now apparently the rest of the band has recruited another singer but that won't be the same though without Geoff Tate. Apparently I do not have my photographs on here from my photo album it must be on the older laptop so i will have to grab those off of there. This is going to be a shorter blog here or a tribute of sorts but nevertheless they are the best band and i've seen them a total of eight different times and even had the pleasure of meeting Scott Rockenfield and Geoff Tate whom were both incredibly nice. Being a major fan over the years and seeing them that many times i feel like i have grown to accept them as part of a my repritore just bummed i did not get a chance to see them a year or s...
Post a Comment
Read more

Been Awhile

Readers: Hey everyone I hope all's going great in you're worlds. I just realized that I had started and stopped several blogs but never finished one due to being super busy with finals and registering for classes and filling out job applications and accepting the reality that I am going to be taking that math class during the summer due to the fact that I got a d in it. Self doubt i'd say is fairly normal and I have went from really feeling just incompetent to a kind of acceptance that I took two difficult classes that shouldn't have been mixed up with political science and swimming class. Yes without a single doubt political science was a fascinating and enjoyable class and I even did well in it and secondly Swimming was a great class it really helped me wake up in the morning and I always felt more ready to take on the day after I finished it around 9:30 but nevertheless that time that went towards those classes I feel took away from math and secondly the business...
Post a Comment
Read more