Skip to main content

Closure of sorts and onward

Finally had some closure of sorts with Trisha. I am glad it wasn't a brutal break up. Essentially were going back to the basics more or less. As in doing the pre dating because currently I am thinking possibly we moved things along way too quickly now. That's the only clear rhyme or reason that I can find for all of this. Deep down I know that I still do love her more than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life. She told me, "Chris it probably will take time...I don't want you to hold yourself back or change for me".

In all honesty I'd change for her in a heart beat. Its called taking small baby steps in some direction for one another. As a couple you reach out to one another. Furthermore than you communicate like crazy and figure out what bothers you about what the other person does and than you work forward from there. Another point she brought up is that she feels restricted. Understandably so she is just turning 20 years old and really wants to "live it"

Oh I can understand that all too well. Whereas in my life I guess I am more or less just ready to find someone that I can stay with and do the whole settling down thing. In fact her and I talked about moving in together after I graduated in two years *shrugs* But things happen and who knows what could come out of this? Do I think she is the perfect match for me??? Yes without a single doubt in my mind I have never been so damn sure about something or someone like this

So we will do the dating thing. While at the same time she can also date other people. Ultimately if it is really meant to be meant to be than I truly believe that she will date somebody else and than she'll realize she is comparing them to me and furthermore that I am really that one person she wants to spend the rest of her life with. Two years is a long time but I am willing to say that by than if all goes well that I plan on popping the magic question and asking her to marry me

Overall feeling ten times better as well. No longer feeling that empty kind of deep seeded depression that I was feeling the last two days that essentially prevented me from doing a damn productive thing. Well with that I am off. Hope all is well in everyone's worlds. Catch ya on the flip side

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Is It True?

Readers: Hey everybody I hope all is well in your world's. I am writing a latest update of things seeing as how earlier today I asked her why she suddenly blocked me with out any word at all. Hell its funny how in the end I told myself over and over again knowing wouldn't actually help but there you have it. One thing she said has continued to stay there at the fore front of my mind when she texted me back after essentially telling me that I worried too much, that I killed things that drunken night, that I am neurotic. Probably not exactly in those different words but that was the idea though than she stopped texting me again. Later out of the blue she texted me again telling me she was sorry but that how could she expect anything else out of things after the night when I screwed up like that. Oh and of course she also threw my words in my face saying essentially that i'd never be with a woman with a kid lol The funny he he ironic fucking thing is that I made it clear w...

Sometimes you have to accept failure and move on

Readers: Hey everyone I hope all is going great in you're worlds. On my end I am still mentally coming to terms with the fact that I will no longer be attending Boise State unless I can afford it and on this note while going too school and only working part time I haven't been able to necessarily afford to go to school so my folks have been taking care of it and i've been paying them back. Having so few hours right now prior too i couldn't put myself through school and secondly the deal from my dad was, "Chris if you get F's in these classes you are done!"; low and behold I checked my grades and I got an F in not just Business Statistics but Calculus as well. Yesterday I withdrew from the classes at Boise State, I changed my work schedule at Gordman's to full time (here is to hoping I get some solid hours), and lastly now I am going to start paying rent to my parents which is a real way of driving home the fact that I failed. For me more than anyth...

Can I?

Readers: Hey everyone I hope all's going great in you're world's. On my end I am full of wonder and doubt which I know isn't exactly the grounds for a job well done but there you go? I am on the cusp right now of starting Math 160 and taking it during the summer. During the regular semester it annihilated me entirely. Feels like I am so close to graduating yet so far away from it all. Right now if anything felt so unobtainable it is truly now more than ever. My mind is plagued with thoughts of failing, thoughts of not graduating, thoughts of not getting a great job, thoughts of the end of a relationship in the blink of an eye. Success in school, success in a job, solid money coming in all of these different things I know will enable me to live life to its fullest. Fullest being the ability to go out there and enjoy vacations, keep this relationship going solidly with Jolene and really be happy mentally knowing that I succeeded with school. My brothers are married an...